Do you ever feel like you are running 90 miles an hour 24/7? Well you are not alone!
My day started with me opening one eye praying it wasn’t time to get up yet. “Shit, I’m late!” I jump out of bed (I say that like I’m a ninja on steroids but let’s be real!) I wobbled my way into the bathroom stretching and groaning the whole way. I want to feel perky in the mornings shouting “It’s a new day world…here I come!” But then I’m reminded I’m living in the real world not Pleasantville! So what actually happens is as I’m wobbling to the shower I trip over shoes and whatever else my kids leave on the floor! Then I sit down to go pee when all the sudden I fall into the toilet… the seat was left up! Are you freaking kidding me! Now I really need a shower because my ass is hella nasty and I’m pissed off! So I undress, get in the shower, and begin feeling the warm beads of water hitting my face and body. I finally started to turn my day around when I open my eyes and scream, “F***!” while jumping back, slipping in the shower and busting my arm on the wall. Why? Because a damn spider the size of my freckle came crawling down the wall. Seriously? What did I think was going to happen…it was going to eat me? Geez Wendy….calm down! After catching my composure I finish my shower. Then I go to brush my teeth and the toothpaste is out. Do y’all ever wonder why this happens and no one tells you about it? It’s like they think a new one is going to magically appear! Ok…ok Wendy, no worries you got this! Mouthwash and gum to the rescue! Not the best solution, but you go with what you got right?
All this in only 45 minutes of waking up! I’d like to tell you this is abnormal. I’d like to tell you my day got better, but then I’d be a liar. Nope, I’m the mom that just survived the first 45 minutes of my day and didn’t go postal yet!
I finally got dressed, put on my makeup, and rushed down the stairs. I grabbed my cup out of the cabinet, and realized I forgot my shoes! So I ran back upstairs, grab my shoes, and ran back down to head out the door. I got into my car, put my foot on the break, and pressed the start button. Nothing happened. So I do it again, still nothing. Then my car tells me my key is missing. Shit…shit…shit! I forgot my purse! I run back inside, up the stairs, and grabbed my purse. By the grace of God I also saw my laptop and my phone patiently waiting for me to get them as well. If only every item I needed could talk to me and say, “Don’t forget me!” before I head out the door each day! I finally make it back to my car, out of breath, no longer smelling like roses, and I’m dying of thirst. So I grab my cup, turn it up, and nothing. Crap! I forgot to put anything in it! This time I couldn’t run. I didn’t have it in me. Exhaustion set in, and if I wasn’t dying of thirst I would have left well enough alone and headed to work. I wobbled to the fridge, filled my cup, wobbled back to my car and finally headed to work!
I thought to myself, “Did I get everything this time…hell I hope so!” I take a deep breath in and a deep breath out…relax Wendy. I say to myself. You have at least 25 minutes of driving to just breath..
Stay tuned to see how my day progressed!